1 00:00:03,378 --> 00:00:06,338 Wanna spend time playing the new "Star Wars" game this weekend? 2 00:00:06,506 --> 00:00:09,508 Mm, I don't know, I promised myself I'd get off the computer... 3 00:00:09,676 --> 00:00:12,344 ...be more physically active, get some exercise. 4 00:00:12,512 --> 00:00:15,556 You're about to walk up three flights of stairs. 5 00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:19,268 Well, good point. I'm in. 6 00:00:20,603 --> 00:00:23,522 You know what would be great? Let's do it like the old days. 7 00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:26,233 - Mm, you talking gaming marathon? - Yeah. 8 00:00:26,401 --> 00:00:30,654 Start Saturday morning, go 48 hours, sleeping bags, junk food. 9 00:00:30,822 --> 00:00:34,283 HOWARD: Turn off our phones so our moms can't call. 10 00:00:36,119 --> 00:00:39,496 It'll be like our "World of Warcraft" party when the neighbors called the cops on us. 11 00:00:39,664 --> 00:00:40,706 (HOWARD CHUCKLES) 12 00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:44,918 They called the cops because of the smell. They thought we were dead. 13 00:00:47,130 --> 00:00:49,631 We were bad-ass back in the day. 14 00:00:51,968 --> 00:00:55,220 - All right, let's do it. - Forty-eight hours of "Star wars" gaming. 15 00:00:55,388 --> 00:00:57,347 It's on like Alderaan. 16 00:00:57,515 --> 00:00:58,932 (ALL CHUCKLE) 17 00:00:59,851 --> 00:01:01,477 Hey, Sheldon, clear your weekend. 18 00:01:01,644 --> 00:01:03,520 Starting Saturday morning, "Star Wars" marathon. 19 00:01:03,688 --> 00:01:05,773 - Woo-hoo. - Movies or video games? 20 00:01:05,940 --> 00:01:07,858 Or board games? Or trading-card games? 21 00:01:08,026 --> 00:01:10,360 Or Legos? Or dress-up? Or comic books? 22 00:01:10,528 --> 00:01:12,321 Or dramatic readings of novelizations? 23 00:01:12,489 --> 00:01:14,490 Yes to all. 24 00:01:16,117 --> 00:01:18,535 We are going to play the online game. 25 00:01:18,703 --> 00:01:21,663 The online game? Bully. 26 00:01:22,624 --> 00:01:24,625 As much as I'm sure Sheldon would enjoy... 27 00:01:24,793 --> 00:01:27,628 ...playing intergalactic make-believe, he and I have plans. 28 00:01:27,796 --> 00:01:30,756 We are attending my Aunt Flora's 93rd birthday party. 29 00:01:31,257 --> 00:01:33,092 Just tell her I can't come. 30 00:01:33,551 --> 00:01:35,469 She'll be disappointed if we don't show. 31 00:01:35,637 --> 00:01:38,514 She's 93. She won't be disappointed for very long. 32 00:01:40,850 --> 00:01:42,810 Hang on. I followed all the protocols... 33 00:01:42,977 --> 00:01:45,437 ...set forth by you in the Relationship Agreement. 34 00:01:45,605 --> 00:01:48,774 I made a written request 72 hours in advance. 35 00:01:49,526 --> 00:01:51,735 Checked the tire pressure on the car. 36 00:01:51,903 --> 00:01:53,904 I contacted the Centers for Disease Control... 37 00:01:54,072 --> 00:01:57,407 ...to find out what shots they recommend for travel to Orange County. 38 00:01:58,827 --> 00:02:01,161 FYI, it's none. 39 00:02:01,746 --> 00:02:03,413 Amy, the Relationship Agreement... 40 00:02:03,581 --> 00:02:06,250 ...was not designed for either one of us to get our way. 41 00:02:06,918 --> 00:02:08,252 You use it to get your way. 42 00:02:08,419 --> 00:02:10,420 I use it to get the right way. 43 00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:15,300 The fact that the right way is also my way is a happy coincidence. 44 00:02:17,053 --> 00:02:19,555 You gave me your word. You're coming with me. 45 00:02:19,722 --> 00:02:20,889 We'll miss you, Sheldon. 46 00:02:21,057 --> 00:02:23,517 Yeah? Well, who wants to spend the whole weekend... 47 00:02:23,685 --> 00:02:27,104 ...running around a bunch of pretend planets battling made-up monsters? 48 00:02:27,272 --> 00:02:31,150 - That's for babies. - Yeah, but it's got lightsabers. 49 00:02:31,317 --> 00:02:34,778 Yeah. Please, Amy, it's got lightsabers. 50 00:03:01,347 --> 00:03:03,223 - Hello, Stuart. - Hey, Sheldon. 51 00:03:03,391 --> 00:03:05,017 - Help you with anything? - Yes. 52 00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:08,854 I'm attending a party this weekend for a 93-year-old woman. 53 00:03:10,398 --> 00:03:12,566 Can you recommend a gift? 54 00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:15,027 Uh, I don't know. 55 00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:18,363 Could put a tennis ball on the end of Excalibur... 56 00:03:18,531 --> 00:03:21,325 ...make a pretty bad-ass cane. 57 00:03:21,993 --> 00:03:23,243 Do you supply the ball? 58 00:03:23,411 --> 00:03:25,037 - No. - Then no. 59 00:03:26,789 --> 00:03:29,666 - What else? - Uh, oh. 60 00:03:29,834 --> 00:03:33,503 Got this collector's edition Batman Utility Belt. 61 00:03:33,671 --> 00:03:37,299 Maybe she could use it as a wearable pill caddy. 62 00:03:38,384 --> 00:03:42,429 Well, she'd just look silly wearing that without the rest of the costume. 63 00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:47,226 Um, sorry, Sheldon, that's it. That's all I got. 64 00:03:47,393 --> 00:03:50,103 It's not your fault. I've been to the model-train store. 65 00:03:50,313 --> 00:03:54,316 I've been to Radio Shack. This woman's impossible to shop for. 66 00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:57,527 I'd make fun of Sheldon for having girl problems... 67 00:03:57,695 --> 00:04:00,530 ...if I wasn't in shock that Sheldon has girl problems. 68 00:04:01,574 --> 00:04:03,450 Well, Leonard, go ahead and mock. 69 00:04:03,618 --> 00:04:05,118 It's like my daddy always said: 70 00:04:05,328 --> 00:04:09,039 "Shelly, women aren't anything but flipping pains in the bottom." 71 00:04:11,542 --> 00:04:13,752 That's what your father used to say? 72 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:17,923 Well, I took out the bad words and the "yeehaw," but you get the gist. 73 00:04:19,217 --> 00:04:22,761 If you don't wanna go to the party, just don't go. You're a grown man. 74 00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:26,431 Act like one. Tell Amy you wanna spend the weekend having a sleepover... 75 00:04:26,599 --> 00:04:28,850 ...and playing video games with your friends. 76 00:04:30,228 --> 00:04:34,439 Yeah, maybe she'll dig it. Women like a firm hand on the tiller. 77 00:04:34,607 --> 00:04:36,108 I can never find the tiller. 78 00:04:39,237 --> 00:04:41,905 I got a book. It didn't help. 79 00:04:42,782 --> 00:04:45,284 Yeah, I always thought if I were ever enslaved... 80 00:04:45,451 --> 00:04:48,662 ...it would be by an advanced species from another planet... 81 00:04:48,871 --> 00:04:51,957 ...not some hotsy-totsy from Glendale. 82 00:04:52,750 --> 00:04:57,629 I downloaded an app that might be helpful in this situation. 83 00:04:57,797 --> 00:04:58,922 (WHIP CRACKS ON PHONE) 84 00:04:59,090 --> 00:05:01,091 (HOWARD, RAJESH and LEONARD LAUGHING) 85 00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:07,180 You're right. I'm smart as a whip. I should be able to figure this out. 86 00:05:11,102 --> 00:05:13,812 Listen, I kind of made plans with the guys this weekend. 87 00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:16,815 I wondered, because we're in this relationship beta test... 88 00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:18,817 ...if I should have asked you first. 89 00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:21,611 Then I thought if I did check with you first... 90 00:05:21,779 --> 00:05:24,698 ...you'd think that I was taking things too seriously... 91 00:05:24,907 --> 00:05:27,034 ...and then I got a nosebleed. 92 00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:31,747 You don't have to check with me. Do whatever you want. 93 00:05:31,914 --> 00:05:33,457 Oh. 94 00:05:33,624 --> 00:05:36,335 Guess I was hoping for a different reaction, but okay. 95 00:05:36,711 --> 00:05:39,504 - Really? What were you hoping for? - I don't know. 96 00:05:39,672 --> 00:05:41,548 Maybe that you'd be a little upset. 97 00:05:41,716 --> 00:05:45,844 And then you'd realize that I'm a stallion that has to run free. 98 00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:52,517 And that would turn you on a little. 99 00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:54,978 Okay, I'm an actress. Ask me again. 100 00:05:55,146 --> 00:05:56,313 (CLEARS THROAT) 101 00:05:56,981 --> 00:06:00,150 Do you mind if I spend the weekend playing games with the guys? 102 00:06:00,318 --> 00:06:03,528 Wha...? The entire weekend? You mean I wouldn't see you at all? 103 00:06:03,696 --> 00:06:08,200 But I do... No, no, I knew what I was getting into. 104 00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:11,370 You can't put a saddle on Leonard Hofstadter. 105 00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:18,502 Oh, my, is it getting hot in here? Ay, Papi. 106 00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:21,630 "Ay, Papi"? 107 00:06:21,798 --> 00:06:23,965 - What is that? - An acting choice. 108 00:06:24,133 --> 00:06:25,175 LEONARD: Hmm. 109 00:06:25,343 --> 00:06:27,552 So you chose that when you become turned on... 110 00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:30,472 ...you'd turn into Speedy Gonzalez. 111 00:06:31,849 --> 00:06:33,850 Do you got a problem with that, Papi? 112 00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:36,561 Uh-uh. 113 00:06:36,729 --> 00:06:37,771 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 114 00:06:37,939 --> 00:06:40,399 SHELDON: Penny? Penny? Penny? 115 00:06:40,566 --> 00:06:44,569 Sorry, Stallion. Your weird friend Giraffe is here. 116 00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:50,367 Hello, Penny. I just stopped by to bring you this gift. 117 00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:51,952 Gummi Bears? Thank you. 118 00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:53,745 Now that you're in my debt... 119 00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:54,955 (PENNY SIGHS) 120 00:06:55,123 --> 00:06:58,458 ...please manipulate Amy into releasing me from my commitment... 121 00:06:58,626 --> 00:07:01,628 ...to attend her aunt's tedious birthday party. 122 00:07:02,213 --> 00:07:03,964 - Not a chance. - All right. 123 00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:06,758 I thought the candy might not be enough, so let me up the ante. 124 00:07:06,926 --> 00:07:10,137 Ahem. These are Cooper Coupons. 125 00:07:10,304 --> 00:07:13,098 These are for various things I can do for you. 126 00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:16,810 Um, oh, this one is for one free grammar check. 127 00:07:17,019 --> 00:07:18,437 Uh... 128 00:07:18,604 --> 00:07:21,898 You could use it for e-mails, letters, tattoos, what have you. 129 00:07:22,066 --> 00:07:23,567 Uh... 130 00:07:23,734 --> 00:07:26,278 Oh, this is a fun one. This is an afternoon with me... 131 00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:31,324 ...at the California Science Center where I point out their mistakes. 132 00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:36,246 Keep an eye on those expiration dates. I've been burned more than once. 133 00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:39,916 I'm not gonna get involved in your relationship. 134 00:07:40,084 --> 00:07:42,836 Come on. It's just a simple favor. When's the last time... 135 00:07:43,045 --> 00:07:45,464 - ...I asked you to do something for me? - Yesterday. 136 00:07:45,631 --> 00:07:49,342 You made me look in your ear to see if there was a ladybug in it. 137 00:07:49,552 --> 00:07:52,846 Last time I asked you to do something that wasn't a medical emergency? 138 00:07:53,055 --> 00:07:57,309 Yesterday. You made me look in your ear to see if there was a ladybug in it. 139 00:07:58,102 --> 00:07:59,519 All right, I have no choice... 140 00:07:59,687 --> 00:08:01,980 - ...but to go on to plan B. - What's that? 141 00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:04,983 Run around outside with a wet head and try to catch a cold. 142 00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:12,199 - Good morning. - Hello. 143 00:08:12,366 --> 00:08:16,203 I think you'll really enjoy yourself today. You get to meet my relatives. 144 00:08:16,370 --> 00:08:18,872 Since my aunt's nursing home is catering the party... 145 00:08:19,081 --> 00:08:22,626 ...all the food is incredibly soft. It's like a vacation for your teeth. 146 00:08:22,793 --> 00:08:24,377 All right. 147 00:08:26,172 --> 00:08:28,840 - You sure you're okay with this? - Yes. 148 00:08:29,008 --> 00:08:33,720 I decided to find a way that I could have this experience and enjoy it. 149 00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:36,473 Thank you. That means a lot to me. 150 00:08:36,641 --> 00:08:39,351 Oh, don't thank me. Thank wireless technology. 151 00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:42,562 Yeah, I realized I can go to your aunt's awful party... 152 00:08:42,730 --> 00:08:46,816 ...and still spend the whole day gaming with my friends. 153 00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:50,195 My relatives are gonna wanna talk to you. 154 00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:52,697 And you're gonna be sitting there playing a game? 155 00:08:52,865 --> 00:08:56,826 - Isn't that a little rude? - Oh, I got that covered. 156 00:08:56,994 --> 00:09:00,872 Headset. I won't hear a word the old geezers are saying. 157 00:09:03,876 --> 00:09:07,546 If playing that game is more important than honoring your commitment to me... 158 00:09:07,713 --> 00:09:10,090 ...and you don't mind me showing up all by myself... 159 00:09:10,258 --> 00:09:13,009 ...after I've told everybody I'll be bringing somebody... 160 00:09:13,177 --> 00:09:14,803 ...then fine, go home and play your game. 161 00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:16,513 (ENGINE STARTS) 162 00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:21,393 Thanks. Oh, listen. 163 00:09:22,061 --> 00:09:24,729 I wouldn't mind a piece of birthday cake... 164 00:09:24,897 --> 00:09:29,067 ...provided the old gal's candle blow is clean and dry. 165 00:09:36,867 --> 00:09:40,704 Here you go. I've got everything we'll need for the big game. 166 00:09:40,871 --> 00:09:43,915 Low-fat turkey jerky. 167 00:09:44,083 --> 00:09:46,418 Low-carb beer. 168 00:09:46,711 --> 00:09:49,588 Hundred-calorie snack packs. 169 00:09:50,548 --> 00:09:53,925 Pick up a Y chromosome while you were there? You might be short one. 170 00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:57,721 Hey, I plan on leveling up in the game, not my swimsuit size... 171 00:09:57,888 --> 00:09:59,598 ...thank you very much. 172 00:09:59,765 --> 00:10:01,933 Gentlemen, the game offers us a choice... 173 00:10:02,101 --> 00:10:04,769 ...between playing for the Republic and the light side... 174 00:10:04,937 --> 00:10:07,772 ...or the Sith Empire and the dark side. 175 00:10:07,940 --> 00:10:10,775 We're always the good guys. In "DandD" we're lawful good. 176 00:10:10,943 --> 00:10:13,778 In "City of Heroes" we're heroes. In "Grand Theft Auto"... 177 00:10:13,946 --> 00:10:17,240 ...we pay the prostitutes promptly and never hit them with a bat. 178 00:10:20,494 --> 00:10:22,495 Those women are prostitutes? 179 00:10:23,956 --> 00:10:26,791 You said they were raising money for stem-cell research. 180 00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:31,129 Hey, guys. I got a surprise. 181 00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:35,634 Mm, if it's yogurt that helps ladies poop, I think Raj beat you to it. 182 00:10:36,302 --> 00:10:39,095 No, Bernadette's gonna be playing with us. 183 00:10:39,263 --> 00:10:42,849 So that's pretty cool, huh? Right? Sure, it is. 184 00:10:43,517 --> 00:10:45,435 Wha...? You invited your girlfriend? 185 00:10:45,603 --> 00:10:48,647 - This is supposed to be our weekend. - I had no choice. 186 00:10:48,814 --> 00:10:52,275 She said, "Why don't we go out for brunch and maybe the arboretum?" 187 00:10:52,443 --> 00:10:56,029 I said, "No, I promised the guys I was gonna play a video game with them." 188 00:10:56,238 --> 00:10:59,157 She said, "Can I come?" Then I didn't answer for a second. 189 00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:01,368 Then she said, "Do you not want me to come?" 190 00:11:01,535 --> 00:11:03,328 Then I bought her a new laptop and the game... 191 00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:05,622 ...and she's parking the car now. 192 00:11:06,874 --> 00:11:10,335 Is the whip-sound app contextually appropriate here? 193 00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:14,798 Uh, it is, but I think you might have waited too long for it to be funny. 194 00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:16,841 (WHIP CRACKS ON PHONE) 195 00:11:17,009 --> 00:11:19,386 (LEONARD AND RAJESH LAUGHING) 196 00:11:19,887 --> 00:11:23,056 - I was wrong. It's still funny. - Oh, good. 197 00:11:23,849 --> 00:11:25,225 (CACKLES) 198 00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:30,855 Oh. 199 00:11:31,023 --> 00:11:34,275 - Amy, what's wrong? - My boyfriend's a jerk. 200 00:11:35,486 --> 00:11:38,196 Well, I know he didn't cheat on you, so, what happened? 201 00:11:40,491 --> 00:11:42,409 I had to go to my aunt's party by myself. 202 00:11:42,576 --> 00:11:46,037 Everybody was like, "where's this boyfriend you talk about? Is he real? 203 00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:49,708 Or did you make him up like Armin the miniature-horse breeder?" 204 00:11:51,335 --> 00:11:53,545 Who's Armin the miniature-horse breeder? 205 00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:57,006 The pretend boyfriend I invented to get my family off my back. 206 00:11:57,174 --> 00:12:01,177 It unraveled quickly when I couldn't answer the question "How did you two meet?" 207 00:12:02,388 --> 00:12:05,098 - I would've thought at a horse show. - Oh, that's good. 208 00:12:05,266 --> 00:12:06,766 Mm. 209 00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:10,437 I panicked and said Woodstock. 210 00:12:10,604 --> 00:12:11,688 (SIGHS) 211 00:12:11,856 --> 00:12:13,898 I just wanted to show Sheldon off to my family. 212 00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:17,402 Sure, I get that. I mean, he's your first boyfriend and all. 213 00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:21,406 Not just my first boyfriend. He's the best boyfriend. I mean, think about it. 214 00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:24,409 I'm dating Sheldon Cooper. 215 00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:29,372 Yes, on purpose. 216 00:12:29,915 --> 00:12:33,126 He's handsome, he's lanky, he's brilliant. 217 00:12:33,335 --> 00:12:36,921 His skin has that pale, waxy quality. 218 00:12:37,423 --> 00:12:39,424 Well, sickly is the new sexy. 219 00:12:42,636 --> 00:12:44,429 - Yeah. - Mm. 220 00:12:45,639 --> 00:12:46,765 You know, Amy... 221 00:12:46,932 --> 00:12:50,268 ...when you're in a relationship with someone you really care about... 222 00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:53,313 ...the sucky part is it leaves you open to getting hurt. 223 00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:55,440 Do you ever worry about Leonard doing that to you? 224 00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:58,109 Ha, ha, that's hilarious. No. 225 00:13:00,654 --> 00:13:02,280 Get that guy! Get that guy! 226 00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:04,824 Pew, pew, pew! 227 00:13:06,035 --> 00:13:08,578 Uh, Dr. Rostenkowski, it may interest you to know... 228 00:13:08,746 --> 00:13:13,458 ...that saying, "Pew, pew, pew," isn't as effective as pressing your blaster key. 229 00:13:13,959 --> 00:13:18,421 In the same way that saying, "Whee," doesn't make the landspeeder go. 230 00:13:19,882 --> 00:13:21,716 Pew! 231 00:13:22,968 --> 00:13:26,638 - Raj, imperial Troopers on your tail. RAJESH: Unh. Got him. 232 00:13:26,972 --> 00:13:29,766 When Gandhi advocated his philosophy of nonviolence... 233 00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:33,645 ...I bet he didn't know how much fun it was killing stuff. 234 00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:37,857 All right, I think we got them all. Let's divide up the loot. 235 00:13:38,025 --> 00:13:40,360 BERNADETTE: Ooh, look at this pretty purple robe I just got. 236 00:13:40,528 --> 00:13:42,821 You should put on yours and then we'll match. 237 00:13:42,988 --> 00:13:45,657 But I worked hard to get this armor, heh. 238 00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:49,786 Sorry, I just thought it'd be nice if people knew we were a couple. 239 00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,205 Fine, I'll change. 240 00:13:53,999 --> 00:13:55,917 (WHIP CRACKS ON PHONE) 241 00:14:00,381 --> 00:14:01,422 (CACKLES) 242 00:14:05,970 --> 00:14:07,637 I don't think I wanna play a game. 243 00:14:07,805 --> 00:14:10,473 They're playing one across the hall. We should too. 244 00:14:10,641 --> 00:14:14,352 Okay, we are gonna take turns bouncing a quarter off the table. 245 00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:17,188 If it goes into this cup, the other person has to drink. 246 00:14:17,356 --> 00:14:20,191 Then you get to go again, and you ki... 247 00:14:23,737 --> 00:14:27,031 - Like that? - Wow, yeah, beginner's luck. 248 00:14:27,199 --> 00:14:29,868 So now I will drink this entire cup of beer... 249 00:14:30,035 --> 00:14:33,037 ...and you will go again and we can... 250 00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:39,711 All right, so, yeah. Okay, now I'm gonna drink this entire cup. 251 00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:41,963 And then I'm going to drink another one. 252 00:14:42,464 --> 00:14:45,049 Okay, seriously, stop. What the hell? 253 00:14:46,051 --> 00:14:49,679 I spent my childhood throwing coins into wishing wells hoping for friends. 254 00:14:49,847 --> 00:14:53,433 At a certain point, you start doing trick shots to keep things interesting. 255 00:14:53,601 --> 00:14:56,060 Oh, give me a second to catch up here, hold on. 256 00:14:56,228 --> 00:14:58,146 (MEN SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY THROUGH WALL) 257 00:14:58,856 --> 00:15:00,273 That'd be my boyfriend... 258 00:15:00,482 --> 00:15:04,110 ...happier playing his Star Trek game with friends than hanging out with me. 259 00:15:04,278 --> 00:15:06,404 - Wars. - What? 260 00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:09,574 Star Wars. They get all cranky when you mix the two up. 261 00:15:10,034 --> 00:15:13,912 - What's the difference? - There's absolutely no difference. 262 00:15:15,998 --> 00:15:18,249 How do I get him to treat me better? 263 00:15:18,626 --> 00:15:21,628 All right, let me give you a little Girlfriend 101. 264 00:15:22,421 --> 00:15:24,756 Usually the first move is you withhold sex... 265 00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:27,592 ...but that will work better after Sheldon hits puberty. 266 00:15:28,218 --> 00:15:33,139 So I'd say give him the silent treatment. 267 00:15:33,557 --> 00:15:35,767 - No, he loves that. - Hmm. 268 00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:38,811 Our record for sitting in a room together and not speaking... 269 00:15:39,021 --> 00:15:42,649 ...is six and a half hours. He said it was a magical evening. 270 00:15:43,067 --> 00:15:45,902 All right, we're gonna have to go with an oldie but goodie: 271 00:15:46,070 --> 00:15:49,447 - Making a scene. - I don't think I'd be good at that. 272 00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:51,616 Ah. You're lucky to have me. Back in Omaha... 273 00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:55,161 ...there are two restaurants I'm not allowed into. Both Chili's. 274 00:15:58,832 --> 00:16:01,793 Bernadette, your character is the healer in our group. 275 00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:04,420 In charge of healing all of us, not just Howard. 276 00:16:04,588 --> 00:16:08,841 Can't help it. My Howie-wowie has an owie. Ha, ha. 277 00:16:10,761 --> 00:16:14,806 That is the most sickeningly sweet thing I have ever experienced. 278 00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:18,768 And I am sipping Kool-Aid through a Red Vine. 279 00:16:21,313 --> 00:16:25,483 Sheldon, I've got a bone to pick with you, and I'll do it in front of all your friends. 280 00:16:25,651 --> 00:16:28,486 Yeah, you pick that bone. You pick that bone clean. 281 00:16:29,154 --> 00:16:31,489 I'm gonna publicly shame you and then sit back... 282 00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:34,325 ...as societal pressure compels you to modify your behavior. 283 00:16:34,493 --> 00:16:36,703 Oh, burn! 284 00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:40,832 If you don't start treating me better, I'm leaving you... 285 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,209 ...for a miniature-horse breeder named Armin. 286 00:16:45,295 --> 00:16:47,797 - Armin who? - Armin... Damn it. 287 00:16:51,176 --> 00:16:55,179 Sheldon, she wanted to show you off to her family and you stood her up, okay? 288 00:16:55,597 --> 00:16:57,807 I mean, look at this adorable, smushy face. 289 00:16:57,975 --> 00:17:00,977 Smush, smush, smush. 290 00:17:01,353 --> 00:17:05,690 - You're hurting me. - No, Sheldon hurt you. 291 00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:08,401 - Before. Now it's you. - Oh. 292 00:17:09,987 --> 00:17:12,030 I think I understand. 293 00:17:12,531 --> 00:17:16,200 You're the one person who can say Sheldon Cooper is your boyfriend. 294 00:17:16,368 --> 00:17:20,204 But that rings hollow if you can't lord him over others in the flesh. 295 00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:26,544 I forget what I bring to the party and what I take away when I leave. 296 00:17:27,129 --> 00:17:32,258 Please accept these valuable Cooper Coupons... 297 00:17:34,011 --> 00:17:36,846 - ...as restitution. - She doesn't want your stupid coupons... 298 00:17:37,014 --> 00:17:40,391 The Science Center? Redeeming. Let's go. 299 00:17:42,227 --> 00:17:46,272 Well played, Amy Farrah Fowler. Let me get my coat. 300 00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:47,482 (WHIP CRACKS ON PHONE) 301 00:17:47,649 --> 00:17:49,192 Oh, grow up, Leonard. 302 00:17:50,861 --> 00:17:53,154 Excuse me, I have something to say. 303 00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:59,035 None of you may realize it, but I was very much looking forward to this weekend. 304 00:17:59,745 --> 00:18:02,789 It was gonna be like the old days. The four of us hanging out... 305 00:18:02,956 --> 00:18:06,042 ...playing video games, before you guys all got girlfriends. 306 00:18:06,877 --> 00:18:10,755 Do you have any idea what it's like to be the only one without a girlfriend? 307 00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:12,256 Even if I get one someday... 308 00:18:12,424 --> 00:18:16,552 ...I'll still be the guy who got a girl after Sheldon Cooper! 309 00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:24,769 And that's how a girl makes a scene. 310 00:18:29,274 --> 00:18:31,651 I'm sorry. You're right. You deserve your weekend. 311 00:18:31,819 --> 00:18:34,487 - Come on, Amy, let's go. - What about the Science Center? 312 00:18:34,696 --> 00:18:37,615 Oh, I'll let you hold my hair while I throw up. 313 00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:40,451 Rain check. 314 00:18:41,912 --> 00:18:44,288 - I'm gonna go too. - I'll miss you. 315 00:18:44,456 --> 00:18:46,582 - I'll miss you. - But I'll miss you more. 316 00:18:46,750 --> 00:18:48,793 - No, I'll miss you... - Just leave. 317 00:18:52,047 --> 00:18:55,842 Ahh. Okay, now, this is the way it's supposed to be. 318 00:18:56,009 --> 00:18:58,136 Men together, fighting the forces of evil. 319 00:18:58,595 --> 00:19:00,221 HOWARD: All right. - Hear, hear. 320 00:19:01,223 --> 00:19:02,640 Ah. 321 00:19:02,808 --> 00:19:05,017 Can't believe this is only 64 calories. 322 00:19:18,323 --> 00:19:19,866 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 323 00:19:20,033 --> 00:19:23,327 MRS. WOLOWITZ: Howard Joel Wolowitz, I've been worried sick for two days... 324 00:19:23,495 --> 00:19:25,830 ...and I know you turned off your phone! 325 00:19:28,584 --> 00:19:32,003 You open up this door right now, because I've had it up to here! 326 00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:34,338 I have been to the morgue and the hospital... 327 00:19:34,548 --> 00:19:38,926 ...and I've spent the last half-hour walking up these farkakte stairs! 328 00:19:42,055 --> 00:19:44,432 That's my ride. Gotta go, heh. 329 00:19:46,685 --> 00:19:48,352 (WHIP CRACKS ON PHONE)